7:45 PM
Unknown
“12:10 AM. 76
missed calls, 49 messages”, I read the cellphone screen. Soon after I left the
farewell party in haste, Pooh had been calling me up. I didn’t take any of the
calls, yet inside, I was dying to talk to her. I was unable to sleep, and the
monstrous thunder and lightning only made it all the more difficult.
“Sahil! Please
talk to me! Don’t behave like this! I am sorry!” I could hear Pooh’s voice
cracking. She must have been crying too.
“Pooh! Please
don’t be sorry! It is all my fault! I now know how you felt when I flirted
around with others. Pooh! I can’t see you away from me, with anyone else! I
LOVE YOU!”
We both started
crying.
“Hello?”, I
spoke again, unsure whether she was still there on the phone.
No reply, only
sniffing.
“Pooh?” I spoke
again, softly.
“You are such an
asshole. You kiss me and forget me, and flirt with others. You smile at the
other girls, when you stand with me. You find everyone beautiful and
attractive, except me! Still I was with you as a friend. And now when I am
moving on in life, you are having problem? I hate you!” she said, and began
crying loudly again.
“Pooh, I am
really sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. I am really a
one-in-a-million-asshole. Please, please let go all this.”
“If I ever see
you flirting with any other girl, I will kill you! I swear!”
“I won’t flirt
with anyone, Pooh, I promise!...umm...wait...can we make an exception here?”
“What
exception?”
“May I...not
always...sometimes...in rare occasions...flirt...with Anita?”
“You...!! I will
murder you in broad daylight on the stage during the assembly, I give my word!”
“Ok! Ok! Ok! I
get it! Absolutely no-flirting, at all! Sorry!”
We both became
quiet simultaneously. I realised my joke was ill-timed.
After a moment,
Pooh spoke again, “Ok, once or twice only. And only with Anita, and no one
else! Ok?”
I started
laughing. Her possessiveness was innocent. She started laughing too. We were
back together, like “the old times”, but this time, we were ready to take a
step further. God, I was in love!
***
Next day, at
school, Pooh came in just a minute before the assembly bell. Her hair was
unkempt, and her eyes had black sacks under them. Talking over the phone till
three past midnight wasn’t a good idea, especially when the next day you have
to get up early for school.
After the
assembly, we walked to our classes together. Everything was same again, except
that I was keener to listen to her, more interested in her. Normally, I used to
talk only about myself. But now, her world was my world, and I wanted to become
a part of it. It was no more about me- now it was about us. And it was
beautiful. Seeing her talk about how her mumma pulled her out of the bed, how
quickly she got ready, how fast she drove to school just not to miss meeting me
the very next day after my proposal, was making me fall in love with her more,
with every step of the stairs we climbed together. When we reached the last
step to the corridor, I handed her a folded paper. “What is this?” she asked
me, surprised. “You will know when you open it. Bye”, I replied, and waved her
as she entered the class, confused. I went to my classroom.
Pooh greeted
everyone and took her seat. Her class teacher was a healthy lady, and by the
time she would reach the class, Pooh would have read the paper. Pooh settled herself
in her chair, put her head down on the table, and opened the paper on her lap.
Then, she read the letter I gave her:
“Its 3o’ clock at night.
This December rain has chilled me to my nerves.
The aching cough and cold doesn’t make me feel right.
In this dead silence, even the clock ticking sounds
like million bursts.
The day wasn’t that good-
Same old heated arguments with mummy.
Unnecessarily I spoiled her mood,
And mine when I fought with a close buddy.
I didn’t speak a word with my bro.
(He tried to start a conversation, but I was too
arrogant)
I looked at the mirror and felt ashamed.
I didn’t understand what it meant.
I once again lost my cool and behaved in a way I
regret later on.
I once again went away from you- like a moron.
Life is not that miserable, but in the dead of the
night
These thoughts creep in my mind- but I am glad
‘Coz your love for me reminds me that
It’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.
Pooh, frankly, I don’t remember how or when I fell in
love with you.
May be on our first date in CCD- or may be before
that, or after, I don’t have a clue.
We used to go to the library and talk in a hushed
voice
(Which now I would recognise even in the loudest
noise).
And you used to come to the class every morning and
give me a warm and excited “hi”
Which used to make me feel so good, but at that point
of time, I couldn’t guess why.
These little things and many big ones
Made me realise how much you mean to me.
And one good thing in my life I have done
Is to make this relationship what it was meant to be-
Love.
I was such a fool, such an idiot, that I couldn’t
recognise your love for me that had been for I don’t know how long.
Instead, I ran after that girl and flirted with
others, but today I know I was so wrong.
And I think it is only your humbleness that you
accepted me and loved me even after knowing all my affairs-
Even after knowing my weaknesses and drawbacks, which
makes my heart uncomfortable, but deep inside it knows there is but one girl
who still cares.
You understand me when no one else does.
You know what I want to say even before I speak.
You know how my mood is even when I don’t realise it.
You stop me when I don’t know the limit.
You support me when I don’t know whom to rely upon.
You give me the best advice when everything is so
confusing.
You trust me when the whole world doesn’t.
You love me when.... you love me all the time.
I confess that my love for you can never be more than
your love for me.
But I love you no less than that- one day you would
definitely agree.
You don’t know that you have made me so crazy.
Whenever I am alone, I just close my eyes – and I can
feel the frenzy
Of your grip and soft silky touch of your skin
besides,
And of the delicate and the most romantic kiss on my
lips,
And of that sensation when I look at your baby-pink
cheeks.
You don’t know what you’ve done to me.
You are my first thought in the morning... and the
last when I go to sleep.
And even in my dreams- it’s only you! You! And you!
You don’t know how much you mean to me.
Pooh, you are the most beautiful thing that has ever
happened in my life.
You are the most beautiful person that I have met.
You are the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt.
Tomorrow, when I die,
And while dying, when I say my last word,
And while saying my last word, when I take my last
breathe,
And while breathing the last breathe, when I see the
last thing,
These eyes will just see you- even if you are there,
even if you are not there.
And even after I close my eyes, you will remain in
these eyes, and in this heart, forever.
Pooh, I love you."
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